Differences Magazine

Your parents will probably insist that's just not true. "You're misreading him." or "Maybe she was just grumpy today."

But whether or not it is true, the fact remains that you feel as if your coach dislikes you.

When that happens, what do you want to do? Quit? Ignore the coach? Tough it out?

Next time you face this, remember:

• Ask yourself why exactly you feel this way. Is it because you don't play enough? Is he pushing you too hard? Sometimes athletes misread coaches. Maybe you are thinking the coach doesn't like you and he's picking on you, but he actually may treat everyone that way.

• Confronting the coach is a waste of time. Because of course, they will deny it. Oh sorry, Jimmy, you're right, I really can't stand you. Not gonna happen.

• If you really don't want to deal with it again, then finish the season and don't sign up for that team again.

• If you are feeling courageous, ask the coach, "Coach, did I do something to displease you? Is there anything I'm not doing that I should be doing?"

• If there is verbal abuse, it's time for your parents to have a little chat with coach. Calmly. In his office. Face to face.

• Sometimes, it's just a matter of understanding the coach. Seek to understand him--his philosophy, his strategy, his expectations. Once you have that figured out, you may feel totally different. Your feelings that you are disliked may have more to do with your own frustration than the coach.

• If there is nothing you can really pinpoint, it's just a "feeling," then listen to and respect the coach, and play for the love of the game, not the coach's favor. We always told our kids to play for God and for their own love of the game, so even if they were feeling disliked by coach, they could still give their best effort because they weren't playing to please him.

When coach clashes happens, it is another opportunity for you to learn how to get along with difficult people. A lesson you will be learning the rest of your life.

"Janis Meredith writes a sports parenting blog that focuses on building character in youth sports. As a coach's wife for 28 years and a sports mom for 17, she sees life from both sides of the bench and wants to help parents and kids make the most of their sports experiences. You can read her blog at http://jbmthinks.com."